I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Damn victory sex feels great
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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