i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize
