You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
