Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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