Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
