I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
