Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
