Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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