so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
