Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
