she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I cut my penus on the lid.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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