She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
