we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
