ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize