I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
