would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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