I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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