plz talk dirty to me
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
