non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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