It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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