Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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