the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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