My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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