You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
