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• (425): View more from Washington

  I proposed and she said yes man.

  (1-425): View more from Washington

  You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?

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• (760): View more from California

  I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  i think i recognize dicks better than faces

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.

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• (760): View more from California

  I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award

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• (214): View more from Texas

  L'Shannah Tovah!

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Whats that? My new stripper name?

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.

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• (607): View more from New York

  Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.

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• (474): View more from

  Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?

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