Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize