What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
My pussy is not your playground.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
