Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
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