i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Dick very happy bro
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