I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize