with your own penis?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
