I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
the day after is always just damage control
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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