he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
