at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
