he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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