Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
