It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
