I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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