paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I wish life had little blips of pornography
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
