I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
