I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
lets start a swedish sibling band together
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
as a side note pls kill me
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
