don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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