After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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