So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
