Duck Duck Cougar?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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