If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Randomize
