Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
