Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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