turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
