You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
