I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
