porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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