My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize