The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
