I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
