Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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