I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Four minutes until I can fart!
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Randomize
