"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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