I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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