Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You know, be my cock's hype man.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Randomize
