Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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