Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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