he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
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