I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize