no, he came in my armpit
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize